there are men that say that woman are horrible,terible and use such awful language. but i say that men are selfish and only want sex and as soon as they are done using you they roll over and go to sleep. they- come home and yell at you if the house is not clean or the kids are not fed or if anything is out of place. then they take the kids and wont give them back and call you a bad mom. men stink. i have yet to meet a good one that is not taken or will have me. then they say it is your fault. that you dont love them enough--that they need more sex.

nice girl finishes last

he makes my life a living hell and he gets the kids for the next six years!! it hardly seems fair!

mom was just talking about reading a j9urnal left by my ancestor and i decieded to leave something for people to read. first off i think i might post my reasons for divorce. yes i know it is a controversial thing. but sometimes if you are not making a harmonious home than it is beter to be apart and be harmonious than together and arguing all the time. i do think that fighting harms kids. when they see adults fight then they might begin to think that that is normal. there are other reasons. since i write undera pseudo name then i can say that i never wanted sex. which was a means of consternation to my spouse. first he would get nicer to me and then he would become despondent then frustrated and angry. but no matter how hard i tried the corect response just was not there. i grew tired of faking it. plus any other reasons for staying in a mariage of this sort(money, prestige) were not there. and once i wound up at my parents house and had time to think i realized that for my sense of self i needed to leave. i am a beter person for leaving and i needed to be that better person for my kids. everytime i gave in i lost a sense of myself and i am too valuable to do that to myself anymore. plus i was told more than once by the holy spirit that i needed to leave the marriage. what i regret is being too kind to sam. a couple of times sam raped me. and after wards i would stand in the hall outside the room and be in utter disbelief. usually i would find a way to blame myself rather than blame sam(which only makes it hurt worse). i just did not want to hold a grudge. i believed that suffering without recrimination was acceptable before god. judge not i thought. but i have found in my bit of recovery i have done(before i stuffed every related feeling in some deep part of my psyche) that i needed to put the blame where it belonged. that it was sams fault. for everything. for dragging me to southern utah, for raping me.